new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
