What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize