dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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