You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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