At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize