She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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