Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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