singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
