dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
