Got a toothbrush?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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