And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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