I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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