You surviving the open bar?
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I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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