I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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