That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
