Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
