i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
