I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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