Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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