im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
