I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
