Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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