Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize