We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
