we have officially lost it.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
