it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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