smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
