i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
