that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
