My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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