just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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