i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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