In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He did a backflip because drugs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
