I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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