just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
