So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
