Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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