my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
