If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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