We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
