your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
