Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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