I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
