I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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