And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
