Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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