ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize