so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
