there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
