do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
