I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
