you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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