so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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