Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
