dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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