How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
