rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
