How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize