In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
