This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
