I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need to sanitize my soul.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
