She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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