god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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