she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
