at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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