is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
