didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize