I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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