Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
