my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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