my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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