I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize