God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
