So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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