ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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