Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
