Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize