White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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